


Within

by SqaceNerd



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Langst, M/M, Sad Lance (Voltron), klance, klangst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 14:10:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13742607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SqaceNerd/pseuds/SqaceNerd
Summary: Lance had always had such high confidence and hopes. Lately, he can feel himself slipping as a voice in his head criticizes his traits and his every move. Will a certain red paladin be there to lift him up? Or will he be left to fester in his own self pity?(My first post on here ! I'm absolutely horrid with summaries and I promise the actual story will be so much better than this ! I hope it is worth a read <3)





	Within

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there ! This is my first ever post on here, I hope you like it !  
> Don't forget to leave kudos or comment if you enjoyed it !!  
> Thank you <33

The vastness of space may be viewed as incomprehensible. The billions of planets each with their own beings, results in a never-ending population. So why should a measly human have any significance? These thoughts drifted within the head of the blue paladin. The tan boy sat in the corner of his small and dark room with his knees pulled up against his chest. His breathing deepened and his grip upon his legs tightened. His eyes burned as tears filled his eyes, signifying the start of a panic attack. 

“No no no,” he muttered under his breath, “not right now. I-I have to get up soon, the others will know.” He let out a shaky breath and looked up at his ceiling that was littered with the plastic glow in the dark stars he had found . He began to count them as a means of calming down. 

His breathing had returned to normal as he neared forty stars. The boy stood and stretched his long limbs before clambering to his bathroom. He groped the wall until he found the light switch and flipped it on, flinching as he saw the dark bags under his eyes reflected in the mirror. He sighed as he began a shorter version of his usual morning routine that consisted of washing his face and applying a moisturizing face mask. Afterall, he had to keep up his silky smooth complexion somehow.

The cuban boy was drying his face with a washcloth as the announcement for breakfast echoed throughout his small bedroom. He glanced in the mirror one last time before heading to the spacious dining hall.

  
  
  


The four other paladins as well as the two Alteans had already gathered around the table, talking merrily. The conversation quieted very slightly and he felt his heart drop.  _ They don’t want you here. You ruin it.  _

He shook the thoughts out of his head as the smallest and youngest paladin began to speak to him, “Hey Lance ! It’s about time you showed up,” they teased.

Lance flashed a smile, “You can’t rush something this perfect,” he responded whilst motioning to his face. “I needed my beauty rest.”  _ Lies. _

A boy clad in red, Keith, rolled his eyes. A larger boy wearing a yellow T-shirt paired with an orange headband smiled kindly at Lance, “Are you alright bud? You look a little off today…”   _ You don’t care. You’re just being kind.  _

The eldest paladin looked up from his small bowl of green goo and narrowed his eyes in concern, “Are you feeling well?”

Lance put on a striking grin, “Hunk, Shiro,  _ of course _ I’m fine. I’m always fine.” He ended his statement with a convincing wink paired with finger guns aimed towards no one in particular. This action resulted in an annoyed grunt from Keith, “I’m going to go get a head start on training.”

Lance’s shoulders slumped at Keith’s dismissal and tried to convince himself that Keith was normally the brooding and edgy type. However, that persistent nagging within his mind still yearned to bring him down.  _ He doesn’t act that way towards Pidge; he’s always polite to Hunk; he absolutely adores Shiro. They all have likeable qualities, where are yours?  _ It sneered and taunted, throwing an endless supply of degrading and hurtful comments into his mind. 

He hadn’t noticed he was crying until it was too late. Thick, hot tears rolled down his cheeks. A pressure in his throat rendered him speechless. Lance glared at the floor, hoping the other paladins hadn’t noticed his lapse in character. He hated himself for showing weakness in front of his other teammates, they’d all been so strong, despite losing so much. Coran had lost his friends, family, and entire planet. Pidge, oh sweet young and snappy but still lovable Pidge, had lost all her family, her brother and father taken by the Galra. The list of tragedies goes on and on.

He felt selfish.

A cold hand on his shoulder startled him out of his deep thoughts. The tears had stopped at least and he forced a huge goofy grin on his face as he spun and, once again, put up finger guns; this time towards his leader. 

“Shiro, my man, what can I do for you buddy?” Lance says in a breezy, faux-confidant tone.

Shiro appears taken aback for a moment, “You were crying.” He flatly states, then quickly adds, “Are you alright?” 

Shiro wasn’t entirely accustomed yet to his role of caregiver added onto the title of leader to the four teens. While he seemed a bit stiff and somewhat awkward, his concern was still genuine. Lance brushed it away with a nonchalant shrug and a lopsided smile.

“Why, of course! I got a blob of my facemask into my eye this morning. I’m sure you noticed my discomfort earlier. But didn’t you know? Someone as beautiful as me is  _ always  _ alright.”

Shiro responded with an agitated grunt and an eyeroll, accompanied by a gruff, “I should’ve known” as he stood and returned to his seat at the table. The meal continued as per usual, with Lance jutting in with his occasional narcissistic comments to show how completely okay he was.

And he was okay. In other words, the voice had stopped, but only temporarily. There hadn’t been any incidents of slips in his composure until later in the day at training.

  
  
  


Lance meandered the bleak, metallic halls of the ship until a high pitched beeping from his helmet alerted him that it was time for training. He let out a deep sigh as he turned and began his journey towards the training deck, moving faster than before, but still choosing to take his time.  _ You’re going to be late, but what’s another disappointment?  _

By the time Lance arrived, he was half a varga late and the others had already begun. Keith’s bangs stuck to his forehead with sweat as he jumped and dodged lasers from the simulation. He looked over as the door opened with a  _ wooshing _ sound and saw Lance standing there guiltily. “Ah, how nice of you to  _ finally _ join us Lance, we’ve been so anxiously awaiting your arrival,” he sneered.

Shiro shot Keith a stern glance before glancing at the blue paladin, his facial expression a mix of irritation and disappointment. 

“Shiro I-”

“That won’t be necessary, Lance. We won’t be needing one of your elaborate excuses today. You’re late. Again. We’ve talked about this, Lance,” he lectured with an impatient tapping of his foot. “Responsibility is an important part of being a paladin. If you cannot keep up with your responsibilities, we need to address it, rather than hide under blatantly false excuses.”

“I...I…” Lance, for once, was at a loss for words. He opened his mouth several times to speak, but no words came out. He resembled a fish out of water, gasping in the air. He hung his head and simply nodded. His neck and ears burned with embarrassment and shame as he walked across the training floor to choose a weapon. He stole a quick glance at Keith, who leaned on the wall, a sly look of contempt plastered upon his face. Lance was quite used to Shiro’s lectures, often the result of his usual goofing off, typically with Hunk, but this one had been laced with more venom than usual. He’d also disappointed Shiro, his longtime hero. It stung as though he actually had been in contact with venom. 

  
  


Lance had failed the simulation eight times now, and tempers were beginning to run short. Shiro tried to be encouraging to the youngest of the three, but now his comments filtered through clenched teeth. 

“One more time, Lance. You can do this if you just  _ focus _ ,” he said with gritted teeth. 

“You got it Shiro, I can do this!” Lance called back with a thumbs up and a tired smile.  _ No you can’t.  _ Yes.  _ No, you’re worthless, how could you?  _ You’re right. The blaring red lights and buzzer indicated a failed simulation. 

Keith groaned in frustration before jumping to his feet and moving into Lance’s personal space. “Is this some kind of joke to you?! Huh? We’ve been here two vargas and you still can’t get it right!!” Keith lashed out with his harsh words and a strong tap to Lance’s sternum with his index finger.

Lance was about to respond but was cut off as Shiro sighed deeply and rubbed his temple with his middle finger. “Alright, that’s enough for today. Lance, you really need to be putting in more effort into these sessions. This isn’t just about you, it’s about keeping the whole team alive and safe as well. We’ll meet here again after lunch, okay?” 

“But Shiro, I really am trying!” Lance let out an exasperated breath as he wiped sweat from his brow. 

“Enough. After lunch. Be here on time.” And with that, the black paladin swept out of the room, the red paladin not far behind, grumbling what distinctly sounded like,”I don’t know how the blue lion would ever choose him,” as he passed. 

Lance’s deflated and he sunk to the floor mat as the door closed behind Keith.  _ He’s right, you know. You’re not fit to be a paladin. You were Blue’s last resort. The last hope to save the universe from the Galra and she made the mistake of choosing you. What a joke. _

The tears began again, his throat tight as he released a loud sob. He curled into a ball and let the tears flow freely to intermingle with the beads of sweat still prominent on his face. In that moment, he didn’t care if anyone saw him at his weakest. He continued to sob and shudder until his vision turned to black and his mind entered a foggy realm of slight peacefulness. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave feedback ! I'm still relatively new to fiction writing and I would love to hear your thoughts


End file.
